It pains me to bring this news to you this evening but I must share my utter disappointment. This fine evening, I attempted to participate in the common bodybuilder act that is the consumption of the broccoli. This was to be accomplished by boiling this broccoli creature until ready. Unfortunately, said broccoli failed me. This crafty devil casted a spell of distraction over me and prevented me from acknowledging that the broccoli was becoming more and more mushy in every second that passed.
This broccoli was clever. It attempted to discourage me from consuming more of its family by trying to turn me against it. It was under the impression that if I were to experience the unfortunate life incident that is consuming mushy broccoli, I would forever cast out this food from my diet. And it was a smart maneuver… What is worse than mushy broccoli? Death, I suppose… Although, if you were dead, you would never again be forced to go through the torture of consuming mushy broccoli. So is death really worse? Is it?!
Regardless, I came out on top. I persevered and ate the tainted tree devil. And I will be back for more! I will build a metaphorical shield to counteract future distraction spells and I will watch him ever so closely as he boils in the scalding water. This will ensure appropriate extraction time and avoid the dreaded mushy broccoli!