You’re Pulling My Leg! (Leg Press That Is)

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The leg press! Only the Gods could have created this wonderful piece of machinery. It is an essential stop on any leg day circuit. It is the ketchup on my healthy chicken burger, the balsamic dressing on my spinach salad, the cinnamon in my otherwise vomit inducingly bland oatmeal. You get the idea. The leg Press machine just makes life better. So you can get a sense of why it might be so traumatic for me when someone treats this beacon of leg strength with disrespect.

Some time ago, I was happily making my way through my typical leg training circuit. Quads, glutes, hams, oh and don’t forget the ever so neglected calf. Glorious. Leg day often gets a bad rap because it’s a pain in the…glutes… It literally is painful. Side note, does that mean I am a tad sadistic as nothing fills me with more glee than leg day? Regardless, I was making my way to the lovely leg press and…shut down! It was occupied. This is common as I am not the only gym enthusiast that has realized what a gift this machine is. So I was forced to find the nearest leg training machine (seated calf raises, ew) to occupy my time while I eyed the leg press and  readied myself to pounce as soon as it became available. During my leg press stake out, I happened to take notice of the bright spark of a person who was already utilizing it. To my horror, what do I see?

That’s right friends…placed beside this girl who was desacrateing my leg press was a cup of coffee and a novel… A moment of silence…something inside me just died.

First off, coffee does not belong in the gym! I will accept water, protein shakes, or various other drinkable supplements. Coffee, in a take out cup no less, will never be acceptable on the gym floor so kindly DUMP IT!
Then we have the novel… Who in their right mind reads while lifting weights?! If you can somehow manage that multitasking abomination, you are doing something wrong. I’m not even a proponent of reading while doing cardio because how hard are you really working if you can manage to concentrate on reading 50 Shades of Grey and get a good fat burn simultaneously. Well, maybe you could do so in the privacy of your home but that’s a whole different conversation about multitasking…

In addition, and this may be the most painful of all… she had a single 10 pound plate loaded on each side of the leg press. Lifting a grand total of 20lbs is equivalent to lifting a helium filled balloon. Ok, maybe a tad more effort is required. I would say that her effort was similar to the effort a dog makes when it lifts its leg to urinate. This young lady must have been in her mid 20’s like me, presumably healthy, likely weighting no more than 130lbs. Your legs carry your 130lb body ever day, so what could possibly lead you to believe that you are doing any benefit to your body by leg pressing 20lbs? Stop wasting everyone’s time and let the adults use the machine.

Logic people, logic! It is based on this logic that I try to encourage people to leg press at least as much as they weigh. To some novice lifters, this may seem daunting but after the first attempt, I am sure you will find this act quite feasible. If you find it difficult…GOOD! Working out is supposed to be hard, that’s why its called WORKING out. No one ever built a mind blowing physique by dicking around. Lets face it, if it was easy, everyone would do it. Although it would be nice to have every man walking around with massive muscle, almost as though they had been carved in stone, reality is that this will never happen. It is sad because nothing would get me naked faster happier than that scenario.

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