Journey To The Gym In The Land Of Ice and Snow!


For those who are committed to a strict routine and become anxious when that routine becomes disrupted, today was not your day if you live in my city. This morning I awoke in darkness without the typical light emitting from my clock radio at my bedside. This should have alerted me to the hell that was to come but I tend to suffer from the delusion that is commonly known as optimism. Power outages typically are not a catastrophic event as the power will usually return within an hour or two. However as I lay in my bed, I began to think of the repercussions of this blackout. This would mean that if the power did not return promptly, I would be forced to eat something other than my customary oatmeal with protein powder. Oh, this is hell on earth. Luckily the power did return within about 15 minutes from when I woke. I satiated my growling stomach and readied myself to hit the gym. Since power had returned to my house, no doubt there would be power at my gym. I don’t even want to think about who I would have to strangle if the gym was closed due to inclement weather of all things. All dressed in my tight workout attire, post workout protein shake prepared, I headed out to the car. What in God’s name is this? Surrounding my entire vehicle was a sheet of ice approximately an inch and a half in thickness. Not only this, but the ice rink now covering my driveway made it a workout just to get to my vehicle without falling. I looked like a dog standing on its hind legs with arms flailing as I carefully waddled to my car. Go ahead and picture that in your head. Once I reached the car, I then began the process of removing the entire arctic from my windshield. When I finally removed the ice condom from my car, I attempted to drive to the gym. After navigating through numerous intersections with no working traffic signals, I decided to make a pit stop at the gas station as I was running on fumes at this point. And…no power at the gas station. So with the thought that my car may stop functioning at any moment, I decided to roll the dice and continue my journey over to the gym. Now is the point where I tell you that I ran out of gas and didn’t make it to the gym. But thankfully that didn’t happen. I arrived at the gym and excitedly sauntered to the front doors. I pulled at the handle and it wouldn’t open. Surely the ice has just frozen it shut…right? In all of my efforts to get to the gym, rescuing my car from an icy coma, avoiding being struck by other vehicles while crossing intersections and then cheating Murphy’s law by driving with no gas, this is my reward… Yes friends, the gym was closed. In my enraged state, I managed to get my bucket of bolts car back home. I was no longer in a mood to work out. I spent about 15 minutes throwing around some light dumbbells in my basement and then spent another 10 minutes practicing my walking handstand. All in all, it was a very disappointing workout day. Who knew a little bit of ice could cause such a shit storm.


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