Merry Christmas and Happy New Suit!..and how this turned into a Rob Ford post

Merry Christmas friends! I hope you are all having a happy holiday season and you have received all of the items on your list. I also hope that you were able to display more will power than I when it came to the Christmas sweeties. I regret to inform you that, yes I did indulge slightly in the sweets but to never indulge is to be a soulless, Christmas hating, baby punching robot. When I rationalize it like that, I don’t feel so bad.

I simply cannot contain my excitement and I must share with you that I have received a new competition suit for Christmas. For my next show in March of 2014, I will be wearing a suit equivalent in size to a napkin. Its colour is ruby red and is reminiscent of the colour of Toronto Mayor Rob Fords face. The bling on the suit is so shiny and reflective that it too is reminiscent of Toronto Mayor Rob Ford’s face. For those of you who are unaware, Toronto Mayor Rob Ford has admitted to smoking crack cocaine while in office, so for that reason and a few others, I don’t mind taking a few jabs. I don’t have first hand experience here but isn’t crack supposed to make you skinny? I think he was doing it wrong. Anyone living outside of Toronto will likely not know this but this guy willingly and publicly attempted the “Cutting the Waist Challenge”. He also encouraged others to take the challenge. Now, Mr. Ford is not a small man by any means and he publicly acknowledged this truth. As a man in a position of power, he had the opportunity to lead by example and fight the battle against obesity. And what better motivation could you have? An entire city was watching him and cheering him on as he battled the bulge. I don’t know about you, but if I had an entire city watching me trying to accomplish a goal, I damn well better succeed, or at least die trying. Failing is alright. Failure is part of life and I have failed many times. And you should never be afraid to take on a task because you are afraid of failing. However, there is failing and then there is quitting and the latter is what can distinguish you from the rest. Mr. Ford quit. He quit three weeks prior to the scheduled end of the challenge. Even if he were to lose absolutely no weight, at least finish the challenge man! Publicly quitting so close to the end date is a dopey thing to do. Dopey… get it?

But I digress. This was supposed to be a post dedicated to my new suit and how spectacular it is but I see that I have gone on a wild tangent. In my final remark, I will leave you with this mental picture… my new competition suit is so wonderful that the only thing that could detract from its beauty is if Mayor Rob Ford was to wear it.

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