If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em!

This morning, a friend of mine sent me a message saying “You have some competition!” with a link to an article. The article, by Huffington Post, discussed a woman who has gained Instagram fame by posting pictures of her big ol’ fit booty. She shows off her rather large bottom in various poses, in various locations, in various states of undress. They are calling it the best bum in the world…

Well, never one to be overshadowed, I wondered where my Huffington Post article was! My bum surely is comparable to hers. But then I realized that I have not been giving my bum the spotlight it so rightly deserves. Apparently I have hampered its success and hidden it from the world’s eyes by sheltering it from the global viewing platform that is Instagram. So this previous Instagram virgin will now be a selfie ass photographer sell out. Sorry friends, I had to do it! I simply cannot be upstaged! This very day, with modesty no where in sight but with shame in my heart, I got myself an Instagram account and posted my first picture.

There is nothing quite as motivating as competition, is there? With my adrenaline pumping and the competitive juices flowing, I am in the mood to peacock it up at the gym today. Refer to my peacocking post if you do not understand this reference. In this mood, I have decided to don my amazing superman tights on this wonderful leg day. I have named the colour of these pants, ‘Burn Your Eyes Out Blue” because they are simply way too vibrant for anyone who has a shred of modesty. All I need is a cape and I could be mistaken for a super hero. God knows I have the body for it…just kidding…but not really…

To this so called “best bum in the world”, I have one thing to say: watch out, because this ass is coming for you. That sounds slightly disturbing but you get the point. I am taking my bottom all the way to the top!

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