As I pulled into the gym parking lot last night, I was greeted by a not so welcome site. The gym parking lot was filled beyond capacity which forced me to circle the lot for an unspecified amount of time while I impatiently waited for someone to get the hell out. F, I had forgotten about the new years resolution crowd. I equate my gym/new years resolution crowd experience to a regular church-goer who has to deal with the frustration of excessive and obnoxious crowds who come out only for Christmas or Easter mass. My mother is going to love that reference. I have developed a name for these people. They are the peekaboo people. They peek their heads out every once in a while when they see fit and then return to their slumber never to be seen again until next year.
So after fighting off a swarm of cars filled with peekaboo people, I finally secured my parking spot and entered the gym. As expected, it was crowded. What was unexpected however was who was responsible for the overcrowding. Men, men, men, everywhere! As each new year approaches, all of the female weight loss and fitness media kick it up a notch, preying on the self conscious women at her peak new years resolution decision making time. One doesn’t typically witness many advertisements targeting growing the male bicep or building boulder shoulders. Side note: There is nothing more drool worthy than a perfectly round and built male shoulder so gentlemen take note. With not much media attention focused on the male physique, one would assume that the women peekabooers would be the ones monopolizing the gym. Yet occupying every single workout bench and every squat rack/smith machine was a man. A dirty, stinky, sweaty man! I am all about staring at the man candy at the gym but there was no candy in sight sadly. You may think that this section of the gym is typically dominated by men anyway. I am aware that some women are afraid to enter the free weight section and perhaps that is the reason for the male peekabooer dominance, however I did not even notice an abundance of women in the cardio section. Where are all my ladies at?!
A rather surprising observation was that the peekaboo people were not all overweight. A significant amount of peekaboo men were either underweight or average size. And by underweight, I am referring to any man that is smaller than me. So I wondered, is man buff the new “IT” thing? Have I been oblivious to the muscle men propaganda? When did the world shift from only caring about the lean female? Whatever the hell happened, I applaud it. I encourage male muscle development any time any where, so keep it coming gentleman. Unfortunately, it is likely that these men may not reach their full Arnold potential as they are still at their very core, peekaboo people. If you know one of these peekaboo men who has gotten themselves a gym membership, please encourage them to stick with it. What finer world would it be if every man were to be walking around with perfect pecs, bulging biceps, perky posteriors? How is that for sexual objectification of the male body? The tables have turned men! We expect more and we won’t shut up until we get it.