Friends! I must inform you that there exists a conspiracy in this world and it present very close to home. In fact, it is right at your local grocery store. I realized that I have been spoiled by my local suburban super market which has everything I could possibly seek to incorporate into my healthy nutrition plan. However, my eyes were opened when venturing into the busy city centre recently.
The new guy in my life has been very accommodating to my healthy lifestyle, so we decided that we would make some super healthy burgers. On the grocery list was lean ground chicken, unsweetened apple sauce and whole wheat/whole grain thin buns. We had the remaining ingredients so I figured it would be a quick little stop at the grocery store before burger heaven. Well, imagine my extreme pleasure (sarcasm) when this idiot of a grocery store had not one single ingredient that I required for the recipe. After discovering that the store did not have the ground chicken, I thought maybe we could just wing it with some extra lean ground beef. The search for the unsweetened applesauce added to the disappointment. I cannot possibly use sweetened applesauce in my burgers! Then to top it all off, no healthy bun options…Conspiracy! This grocery store is clearly supporting the obesity pandemic, adding on pounds with one jar of sweetened apple sauce at a time. There is winging it, and then there is just going in a completely different direction. I cannot wing a recipe if I have none of the key ingredients…So we left empty handed and hungry.
Then it was on to grocery store number 2. Again, no ground chicken! F! So we were forced to purchase the extra lean ground beef. We were far too hungry to make the trek to yet another grocer. At least we managed to find some unsweetened apple sauce at this establishment. New guy decided to get fancy and throw the jar of applesauce in the air and catch it. This almost gave me an anxiety attack because I hate wasting money and I knew if he dropped it, he would be paying for it. Once he discovered that this was incredibly anxiety inducing for me, he made sure to make his tosses that much more dramatic. Douche. The search for healthy buns was somewhat successful. I didn’t find exactly what I sought, however we did locate whole wheat English muffins and we decided to go ahead with those. At least this grocer was a little less anti-health freak than the previous.
Finally we got to the kitchen and were ready to make our burgers. I say we…it was just me. New guy just stood around and looked pretty. And man is he pretty. In his defence however, I guess it was not a two person job. To make him feel more involved, I had him throw in some spices now and then. Once everything was cooked, I enjoyed my burger with a little bit of ketchup and some baby spinach. Job well done and we managed to somewhat navigate through the evil anti-health conspiracy. Be sure you do not fall victim to the trap!
This was the intended recipe. This isn’t what we made due to the conspiracy but if you can find the ingredients, give it a try.
2 lbs ground chicken
½ cup oatmeal
1/3 cup unsweetened applesauce
½ tsp salt
1 tsp pepper
1 tsp basil
1 tsp cumin
Broil on each side for 7 minutes on the top rack but be sure to check that they are cooked all the way through. Edit quantity of ingredients as necessary.