Status Report

First off, I need to apologize as I did not post any new content yesterday. However, I will correct the problem by posting today which is the one day of the week I have assigned as my day off from blogging. So you can all wipe your tears away now.

Today’s post is going to be slightly different. It will be an update on my contest prep and the goings on in my life as it pertains to fitness at the present moment.

Today marks exactly 6 weeks until my next fitness competition and this means that it is crunch time. Meals must be planned out and eaten at regular intervals. Every workout must be balls to the wall. Throw in some cardio into the workouts…ew. No more drinking…that’s going to be a tough one. I have to be really strict about this because I have two 2nd place trophies and I do not intend on picking up a third one. It is time to enter the winners circle and grab the #1 spot. I am ready! Side note: Even my trophies have breast implants! F…

It may surprise you to know but one of the things I am looking forward to is my spray tan. I have seen myself in pictures lately and it kind of looks like I have been living in a cave for a while. That is how white I am. Even though the spray tan can result in an orange hue, I think I might rather be orange than translucent. It was the strangest feeling when I had my first spray tan done. You have to strip down and have some stranger spray you with cold coloured liquid in all the nooks and crannies of your body. An interesting experience to say the least.

My training has been going very well since my last show. Aside from the occasional half assed workout, I have stayed on track. About a week ago, I was suffering from the fitness fatigue and I didn’t want to work out. But you want to know what I do when I don’t feel like working out? I work out. Shit just needs to get done and the world will not pause for anyone. It has been the diet that I have been struggling with lately. And when I say diet, I don’t mean that I am on a diet (reducing calories), I am just referring to the food that I eat. I haven’t been eating poorly or cheating excessively but I find that eating has become a chore because so much thought has to go into what I decide to put into my mouth. I have to snap out of this funk and fast.

Yesterday I spent the majority of my free time bedazzling my new red competition suit which I plan to wear for the March show. Unfortunately, I ran out of bling unexpectedly which has resulted in only one boob being completed. Time to make a run to the craft store. Although it is not completed yet, I must say that it is looking pretty fantastic. It is so fantastic that I was prancing around my house yesterday with the top half of the suit on and yelling ‘Sparkle Tits’ aloud.

On the agenda for today was chest and triceps. I killed them, murdered them, destroyed them, and now I am suffering the consequences. I was so weak after the workout that I couldn’t even open my shaker bottle to rinse it out. Someone else can deal with it, I have a valid excuse. What else to do today? It’s time to make some protein infused granola! It is the perfect healthy snack with a good balance of carbs, protein, and fats. Ok, I’m going to go do that now.

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